Yes, I can be afraid too sometimes. Afraid to try something new ... what if I fail? Waiting for someone else to do it for me ... if it's not done right, it's not my fault.
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However, I am naturally very confident, in myself and in my actions, both personally and professionally. I am myself, whether I like it or not. Life has always been right in presenting me with the right people and opportunities when necessary.
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In this case, I understood that it was up to me to go further by daring to take a step forward, differently. That step was a call in English to a coordinator of a large hotel chain.
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Although I am also a translator, there is a whole world between writing and speaking. With a keyboard, words come easily to me. My fingers fly over the keys to create moods and scenarios I'm not a little proud of.
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Speaking is something else! When I express myself in French, which is my native language, I don't always find the right words. I also struggle in my language when I am very motivated and want to express several thoughts at once.
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Although this weakness may seem touching, it was nonetheless a hindrance for me when it came time to make this official call in English. I was already afraid of mispronouncing, of not finding the right words, of saying too much or not enough. I imagined the person on the other end of the line with a big question mark over his head wondering, who is she? What does she want from me?
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I finally made the call and it didn't kill me. Although I hung up the phone with my heart still beating, I am very proud of myself for having dared. For me, it's a big step forward, no matter what the outcome. Since my call went to voicemail, the ice is not completely broken. I've almost conquered my stress. Since I survived (hey yes, you're not done reading me!) I know I'm capable of doing it again and each new time will be easier.
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What motivated me to do it? This planet that I want to reforest and my artists to whom I want to write nice royalty checks. All of them deserve that I overcome my embarrassment and so much the better if the result is positive.
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